Channel Q News

The latest news from the fictional country of "qwertyland"

Hello! Welcome to the new and "improved" Qwertyman Central! It's been almost 2 months since our last update. Last article, Qwertyman had been reported missing, and there is still no sign of him. Here's what local residents have to say:

"I've gone through the 19 stages of grief about 3 times now, when will he come back?" - Azertyman, childless resident of qwertyland

"Without a prime minister, the government is in shambles! I've already printed $500 doubloons!(the new regional currency)" - Qwertzman, shady alleyway businessman and infamous tax evader

"no one's been in charge of the weather machine anymore, im so cold 🥶" - Qzertyman, self-proclaimed "cunning linguist"

"I've escaped! Finally! I never want to see that stupid prison bread ever again!" - Colemack, delinquent and former inmate

"That wasn't bread, that was oatmeal..." - Warden Workman, warden and babysitter of Colemack

"joe" - joe, everyone's favorite. hi joe!

"⠺⠓⠑⠗⠑ ⠁⠍ ⠊? ⠊ ⠞⠓⠊⠝⠅ ⠊ ⠺⠁⠎ ⠊⠝ ⠁ ⠉⠕⠍⠁" - Old Man Braille, professionally senile.

"hehe... qwertyman will make great fuel for my demon core...i hope no one is hearing this" - Dr. Dvorak, who is not whispering in the slightest

"we heard everything boss" - worker 2, who is tired of his job

"What demon core? Are you building one? I must inform the police post-haste!" - worker 1, who loves his job


It seems that the country of qwertyland is in shambles due to Qwertyman's dissapearance. Tune in next week for new developments every monday! Farewell! - Masimba DeNola, Head reporter at Qwertyman Central

Missing the Qwertyman Lore? Visit the basement for all the previous news!